More first...
We're going through the choking phase with Luke(see a very unflattering picture of him to the right). He's eating little star cereal pieces that dissolve in the mouth and coughing the whole time. I think when we had Mark it freaked us out to watch our first-born choke, cough, and turn red. Now we just remind Luke to breathe and walk away. His natural instincts to breathe will keep him alive.
Mark was following right behind me walking from our kitchen into the computer room. I did what any fourth child, baby of the family, only son who loves practical jokes would do. I stopped abruptly and stuck my rear end out. Mark ricocheted beautifully and hit his head pretty hard on the wall. I felt bad and immediately rubbed the red spot. He really did hit it hard and he was in pain...until I asked Karen to get some Tylenol. "Tylenol?" Mark asked nervously. Talk about good (and cheap) medicine! Just saying the word made him stop crying and playing again.
Now the prayer. I had the absolute worst day of my current job and the best day of my current job this week. And I mean really bad and really good. Like the kind of bad where I wondered why I ever got into management, come home from work and caution my kids to give me space, and go lay on the bed bad.
We had a meeting Tuesday. And it turned to utter chaos. No conclusions or decisions were made, everyone voiced their opinions in raised voices, and they were cutting each other off. Don't get me wrong...this is an incredible team I have with strong talent and a passion to do their job right. So I was given a head's up that this group is vocal. But it got out of hand. One girl started spitting out the Savior's name in vain and you could feel the atmosphere in the room deflate. After that, everyone was pretty quiet, we finished the topics, and adjourned the meeting.
I knew feelings had been hurt and people had been offended.
I emailed the girl who had been the biggest offender and asked her not to swear in our meetings anymore and if she did I would end the conversation. And I asked her to let others express their opinion and give them the same courtesy everyone gives her. I also included a note in the email about her strengths and reminded her that she's a leader on the team that people look up to.
She responded asking when she swore.
I told her she said Jesus Christ twice and acknowledged we might differ on what swearing means, but that I didn't want her to use His name that way again. I told her my request was a personal one as opposed to one from her boss.
I went back to her desk before she had a chance to respond. I asked her if she thought I was a dork. That's my way of saying, 'Hey, I'm not the aggressor here. I care about you and I hope you won't make fun of my values.' I'm pretty laid back and very easy-going. I think the Gospel helps me keep things in perspective most of the time. Well, she put on her boxing gloves. She got defensive, acknowledged that she and I were different (she has tattoos, and a pierced eyebrow just to give you an idea), and that she has been criticized her entire career and would be happy to be demoted or even resign.
I was shocked. I had no idea how in the world our conversation just took this detour down a path I had no intention of going down. She had misconstrued my intent and blew it way out of proportion. I reminded her that I value our differences, had no intention of changing her employment status, and we awkwardly ended the conversation.
That was Tuesday.
I didn't say my prayers that night. I was ready to throw in the towel. I'd dealt with more HR issues than I could ever have imagined in the short time I've been a manager. I couldn't believe how childish adults could be. I couldn't believe how close-minded people could be. I wanted to step down or find a new team. I didn't sleep well.
Wednesday morning I didn't say my prayers. I got ready, pulled the car out of the garage and stopped in the driveway. I closed the garage door and bowed my head.
I talked with Heavenly Father and kept it very brief. I recalled the events of the day before and asked Him to bless me with a positive experience that day. I asked for a blessing upon the members of my team...specifically Brandi. I looked up and saw Mark and Peter staring at me through the window. I waved and drove off.
The Lord must have known I was going to pray in the driveway.
Brandi asked me shortly after I arrived to work if we could talk. We walked to a break area (the whole time thinking of all the horrible things she's going to stuff down my throat). We sat down. She got pretty emotional. She had spoken with her husband most of the night. She considered her 8 month old daughter and what kind of a mom she wanted to be.
She apologized profusely and thanked me for taking the higher road. She knew I could fire her after her behavior and she wouldn't have questioned it. I could have put her in her place during the meeting in front of everyone and she would have deserved it. She couldn't believe how kindly I had responded to her. She talked a little about her personal life. How she was raised. Why she isn't religious. How hard she is on herself and why she's so protective. How she's trying to be a better mom than the one she had. We talked for a while.
She asked to be demoted. I politely refused. I told her that this has been a good growing experience...for both of us...and that she could be a stronger leader on the team as a result.
It was an extremely good day. I immediately thanked my Heavenly Father. Brandi voluntarily apologized to the team that morning. And I think the team grew closer together. It was a great week.
I figured out part of my job, too. I'm not one to preach to my employees. Heaven knows the Elders in the ward would like me to. But I don't feel comfortable given my level of "authority." But I'm proud to share that I'm a member of the church. Most know what church I go to. And I want to be a strong leader they can look up to...so when the day comes that they have an opportunity to accept or reject the Gospel, they can remember David.
Who knows? Maybe one day in a break area, I'll have another one of those kinds of conversations and I'll have an opportunity to make an invitation...
We're going through the choking phase with Luke(see a very unflattering picture of him to the right). He's eating little star cereal pieces that dissolve in the mouth and coughing the whole time. I think when we had Mark it freaked us out to watch our first-born choke, cough, and turn red. Now we just remind Luke to breathe and walk away. His natural instincts to breathe will keep him alive.
Mark was following right behind me walking from our kitchen into the computer room. I did what any fourth child, baby of the family, only son who loves practical jokes would do. I stopped abruptly and stuck my rear end out. Mark ricocheted beautifully and hit his head pretty hard on the wall. I felt bad and immediately rubbed the red spot. He really did hit it hard and he was in pain...until I asked Karen to get some Tylenol. "Tylenol?" Mark asked nervously. Talk about good (and cheap) medicine! Just saying the word made him stop crying and playing again.
Now the prayer. I had the absolute worst day of my current job and the best day of my current job this week. And I mean really bad and really good. Like the kind of bad where I wondered why I ever got into management, come home from work and caution my kids to give me space, and go lay on the bed bad.
We had a meeting Tuesday. And it turned to utter chaos. No conclusions or decisions were made, everyone voiced their opinions in raised voices, and they were cutting each other off. Don't get me wrong...this is an incredible team I have with strong talent and a passion to do their job right. So I was given a head's up that this group is vocal. But it got out of hand. One girl started spitting out the Savior's name in vain and you could feel the atmosphere in the room deflate. After that, everyone was pretty quiet, we finished the topics, and adjourned the meeting.
I knew feelings had been hurt and people had been offended.
I emailed the girl who had been the biggest offender and asked her not to swear in our meetings anymore and if she did I would end the conversation. And I asked her to let others express their opinion and give them the same courtesy everyone gives her. I also included a note in the email about her strengths and reminded her that she's a leader on the team that people look up to.
She responded asking when she swore.
I told her she said Jesus Christ twice and acknowledged we might differ on what swearing means, but that I didn't want her to use His name that way again. I told her my request was a personal one as opposed to one from her boss.
I went back to her desk before she had a chance to respond. I asked her if she thought I was a dork. That's my way of saying, 'Hey, I'm not the aggressor here. I care about you and I hope you won't make fun of my values.' I'm pretty laid back and very easy-going. I think the Gospel helps me keep things in perspective most of the time. Well, she put on her boxing gloves. She got defensive, acknowledged that she and I were different (she has tattoos, and a pierced eyebrow just to give you an idea), and that she has been criticized her entire career and would be happy to be demoted or even resign.
I was shocked. I had no idea how in the world our conversation just took this detour down a path I had no intention of going down. She had misconstrued my intent and blew it way out of proportion. I reminded her that I value our differences, had no intention of changing her employment status, and we awkwardly ended the conversation.
That was Tuesday.
I didn't say my prayers that night. I was ready to throw in the towel. I'd dealt with more HR issues than I could ever have imagined in the short time I've been a manager. I couldn't believe how childish adults could be. I couldn't believe how close-minded people could be. I wanted to step down or find a new team. I didn't sleep well.
Wednesday morning I didn't say my prayers. I got ready, pulled the car out of the garage and stopped in the driveway. I closed the garage door and bowed my head.
I talked with Heavenly Father and kept it very brief. I recalled the events of the day before and asked Him to bless me with a positive experience that day. I asked for a blessing upon the members of my team...specifically Brandi. I looked up and saw Mark and Peter staring at me through the window. I waved and drove off.
The Lord must have known I was going to pray in the driveway.
Brandi asked me shortly after I arrived to work if we could talk. We walked to a break area (the whole time thinking of all the horrible things she's going to stuff down my throat). We sat down. She got pretty emotional. She had spoken with her husband most of the night. She considered her 8 month old daughter and what kind of a mom she wanted to be.
She apologized profusely and thanked me for taking the higher road. She knew I could fire her after her behavior and she wouldn't have questioned it. I could have put her in her place during the meeting in front of everyone and she would have deserved it. She couldn't believe how kindly I had responded to her. She talked a little about her personal life. How she was raised. Why she isn't religious. How hard she is on herself and why she's so protective. How she's trying to be a better mom than the one she had. We talked for a while.
She asked to be demoted. I politely refused. I told her that this has been a good growing experience...for both of us...and that she could be a stronger leader on the team as a result.
It was an extremely good day. I immediately thanked my Heavenly Father. Brandi voluntarily apologized to the team that morning. And I think the team grew closer together. It was a great week.
I figured out part of my job, too. I'm not one to preach to my employees. Heaven knows the Elders in the ward would like me to. But I don't feel comfortable given my level of "authority." But I'm proud to share that I'm a member of the church. Most know what church I go to. And I want to be a strong leader they can look up to...so when the day comes that they have an opportunity to accept or reject the Gospel, they can remember David.
Who knows? Maybe one day in a break area, I'll have another one of those kinds of conversations and I'll have an opportunity to make an invitation...
3 comments:
For sure the world needs us. So glad you are out there helping others to be a little better and reach a little higher. What a great laboratory this earth life is. I love it! (most of the time)
you're pretty darn cool, you know that,right?
Thanks David, you brought tears to my eyes. I feel for you. You make the right decisions (at least, that's what you write about.....)You are a great man and I wouldn't be surprised to see you as a GA some day! Love you all!
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